In Life And In Death
by Heel Princess
Summary: Oneshot: Trish/Lita. Greif is a powerful thing. Warnings, deals with death and femslash implied.


**So yeah i was in a crying mood, this happened lol. Read and Review Please, Let me know what you think :)**

Scratching the ground beneath her Trish wedge the dirt deep into her manicured fingernails as she leaned out over the edge of the trench in front of her. Inside the six foot hole was a box, a cold metal box, which contained the one person in the whole world who meant everything to the Canadian…and her name was Amy.

Just three short days ago she was holding her in her arms and now she was sitting at her graveside. The world was a cruel place.

"Please," She screamed into the darkness, "Wake up, please just wake up."

Trish felt a hand on her shoulder, which she immediately jerked away from to bend further over the side, yelling at the top of her lungs. "Baby please."

"Trish come on its time to go now," A voice said from behind her, once again laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, "everyone has to leave."

The blonde knew why she had to go, it wasn't her first funeral. She knew that when she left the graveyard that the dirt that was by her feet now would be dumped into the hole, burying Amy forever.

"I can't Lil," Trish said sobbing, unable to look up to her friend behind her. "She's afraid of the dark, I can't let them cover her up like that. I can't leave her alone."

She felt an arm link with hers to gently lift her from the ground, "Honey Amy isn't in that box, she is somewhere better…somewhere where its never dark, somewhere where she isn't alone at all. That's not Amy down there, it's just the body she used in her time here Patricia. Amy is somewhere up there." She explained, pointing to the clouds.

Trish's eyes trailed upward, "You really believe that?" She asked, laying her head on Lillian's shoulder.

"I have to."

The car ride was silent for a long time, Lillian just driving as Trish rested her head against the rain covered window, tears spilling uncontrollably from her eyes. How had it come to this, how could she really be gone?

It was like one minute she was the happiest woman in the world, and the next she was dying inside. Right now it felt like her heart was about to explode, it was pumping so hard that it was all she could hear and she was pretty sure that at any minute she really would die of a broken heart.

Amy left the house that Tuesday morning and never came back. She was driving to visit her mother when a car came out of the other lane and hit her head on.

She died on impact.

"Do you know what the last thing I said to her was?" Trish asked suddenly, looking across to Lillian.

The announcer turned her attention away from the windshield for a moment to look at the woman beside her, "I love you?"

Trish laughed, "I wish." She replied, running a hand through her soft curls. "I told her to go, that I didn't need her. Then she slammed the door and took off to her mothers... I told her I didn't need her, then she died."

"Oh god Patricia I'm sorry, I didn't know." Lillian responded, wanting to shove her foot in mouth, somehow she had found a way to make things worse.

"It's not your fault I'm an idiot." Trish told her, whipping her eyes with the palm of her hand.

Lillian turned to her again, "Your not an idiot. Everyone says things they don't mean when they're angry. Trust me, she knew you loved her and I know she loved you."

"How?" Trish asked her, curious as to how she was so sure that Amy felt everything that she felt. After all that's what they were arguing about when she stormed off, the fact that Amy had never uttered the words 'I love you'.

The curiosity and intensity in Trish's voice made Lillian smile. "Only someone on the outside looking in could see the way she would look at you. Even when you two had a match together and she was supposed to hate you, she would always look at you like the sun revolved around you."

Trish leaned her elbow on the center console, resting her face on her hand as she intently listened to Lillian's words.

"It was how she would sit backstage and watch all your matches and promos on the monitor, smiling wider then I'd ever seen her smile. It was every little thing she ever did, the way she said your name, the simple way she laced her hand with yours, how she would wish you good luck, every time she brushed hair from your face. It was everywhere Patricia."

The minute she stopped Trish stopped smiling, "Please Lil, keep going."

Lillian smiled at Trish again, "It was how she would hold you, softly rubbing your back when you'd cry. It was how she would affectionately lay her hand on your knee at parties, and how when she kissed you everyone in the room wished that they knew love like yours."

Tears once again filled Trish's eyes, "Thank you," She said softly, comforted by the few words.

"Listen Trish, do you want to come stay with me for a few days? I mean are you sure your ready to go home?"

Looking out the window at the familiar road she spoke, "I need to go home, I need to feel close to her."

Dropping her keys on the small table near the door Trish entered the house that her and Amy shared together. The blonde shed her coat and hung it in the closest like she always did, her body running on nothing but routine. Really she didn't know what she was doing, she felt nothing but numb from the moment she walked into the entranceway.

The place was littered with pictures of them together and it physically hurt Trish to see her girlfriend knowing there would never be any more moments like those.

The only thing she did that was out of her normal everyday movement was to yank the telephone cord from the wall, Trish couldn't bear the thought of it ringing off the hook with well wishes. If one more person told her they were sorry she would break them in half, she was tired of everyone's sympathy and she was tired of smiling as people who felt like strangers hugged her.

Once she was sure she wouldn't be disturbed she dragged her body upstairs and collapsed in the sheets…sheets she couldn't bare to wash because she didn't want too loose the scent of Amy that lingered on them.

For hours she watched old wrestling DVD's over and over, focusing on the string of tag team matches they had in 03, rewinding every time she was able to hold her on screen. All the moments were her favourite in her career, because for once she didn't have to pretend. If only for that short period of time she got to show Amy all the affection she wanted on camera and didn't have to fake hate that had never been there.

Finally when she was afraid she'd scratch them from playing them too much Trish rolled over from her side of the bed to Amy's, praying to find her there, hoping that somehow this was all some twisted dream and she would wake up safe in the arms of her red headed lover. But no matter how many times she closed her eyes and opened them, she was still alone.

"God I miss you." She whimpered, crying into Amy's pillow, breathing in the soft scent of her coconut shampoo. "I wish I could go back and do everything over, then maybe you'd still be here."

Hanging over the side of the bed Trish grabbed the old 7seconds t-shirt that Amy always slept in, hugging it to her chest in comfort as she tried to find sleep.

It was then that she felt a hand touch hers, startled her eyes fluttered open, "Amy?" She questioned, in her tired state once again forgetting that it couldn't possibly be who she wanted it to be. "I'm loosing it." Trish breathed out.

Sighing she closed her eyes again, trying to find the sleep that she hadn't had in days. Crying all day and all night had worn her down and finally she felt as though she could drift off to sleep, hoping that she would find Amy in her dreams.

But just as she was about to fade from consciousness she felt the hand again, this time gently stroking her face. Trish knew she wasn't asleep yet and she knew she wasn't crazy when she felt it a second time. "Amy." She said again, this time not daring to move, afraid the feeling would fade.

Somehow without any real sign at all she knew it was her girlfriend, she just knew, the familiar touch making her smile. She wasn't alone after all.

"I miss you." She said for the second, making sure she knew. "I love you."

Once the last word had escaped her lips she felt what seemed like lips on her forehead, and she knew it was Amy's way of saying she loved her too. Trish curled into the fetal position to sleep, feeling her girlfriend wrap her arms protectively around her. She smiled at the sensation that she knew was Amy's lips resting against her ear in the same way they did every night as they fell asleep.

Amy would always be with her. Nothing…not even death, could keep them apart. A love that strong, even if it was always unspoken, was too much for anything to break.


End file.
